Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Fiddler and more.......

It’s past midnight. Everyone in my house is asleep….. except me. We’re all tired. We came back after watching my school’s production of ‘Fiddler on the Roof’. I’d already seen the dress rehearsal with Ari and Confucious, so the effect it had on me was not as stunning as it might have been… but, oh! Today’s was brilliant. The bits that had been lacking in chemistry were perfect today. No doubt, Mr. El Kay would have found fault with it… but hey, it’s children from Class X playing roles like that of a Jewish father of five daughters! Earlier when my mum said they were difficult roles for children to identify with, I felt she was overdoing it. They were just characters! I could understand them. Why wouldn’t they be able to? But today, I sat next to a certain Ms. Jain. My insane friend. Hmmm… yes, I see how normal children would find it hard to identify with such roles. They were tough. But how brilliantly done. My heartfelt congratulations to the director, Katie. Wow. It was spectacular. Also to the entire cast and crew. Congratulations!!! The singing was also fabulous. My sister was in the choir... It was beautiful. Several of the solos were fabulous..... in general, it was so well done! WOW! But the story leaves me with an ache. I feel melancholy. I understand Tevye. (spoiler warning from here on!!!) When I watched the movie when I was younger, I felt he was the villain of the piece, throwing his own daughter out like that! And that too after accepting the first two. How irrational! I see it differently, now. I see a man struggling to cope with changes. Blows that come too fast for him to recover from. Changes he can barely process. As far as he can, he allows and gives his blessing… but there comes a point beyond which he cannot bend. If he bends any further, he will break. At that point he has to close his eyes to the daughter he loves and look to his own survival. He cannot allow things to go that far. Poor Tevye. Of course my sympathies are still strongly with Chava. Poor child. All she wants is for her and her husband to be accepted by her father. Is that too much to ask? But Tevye can only bend so far. And in the end, he does acknowledge her… however indirectly, there is hope. For me, the story ends there. Their (the Jews) being evicted is not integral to my view of the story. It is a story of a father and his daughters. And people who are suffering. My dad dislikes this story. He feels too much has been made of the suffering of the Jews. I agree… but this story is not about ‘Jews’. It is about people. And change. And oppression (though I don’t see that as one of the main points.). Anyway, I personally see Hodel’s match, Perchik as the more dangerous one. He is a radical. An activist… and Hodel leaves home alone for Siberia, where he is imprisoned. Far away from home… as she leaves, she promises her father that she will be wed under a canopy. This match seems to me more difficult to stomach than Chava and Fyedka, the the Russian…. But well, I am not Tevye. Poor man. Perhaps it is because I forsee myself in Chava’s situation… (Too much melodrama? What to do? I’m feeling that way right now!) I know, there’s nothing I could do to make my parents disown me… (hmm… maybe there is, but let’s not go there… The point is, whoever I chose to marry, they’re not going to be so difficult about it!)… but it must be so difficult for them. I feel bad. But what can I do? Religion does not matter to me. Whoever I marry (or don’t marry!) I cannot guarantee that he (or she!!!) is going to be Christian. Sigh. Poor things. And then, I feel bad. So much is happening all over the world, that I don't know about. So many people being exploited, blah blah blah.............. I should be doing something. Something useful. My career choice does not ensure that… but, I know I cannot be rich. I’m sure of it. I can’t handle it. I would feel too guilty. And as I'm never going to be rich thanks to my choice of career, I cannot marry a rich man. I just cannot handle it. If I were caught up in my own survival struggle, I wouldn’t feel so bad about ignoring other people...... if I had money to spare, though, I’d die of guilt. Yes, I’m strange. But that’s me. Another thing is, I want to adopt. Yes, everyone knows that… but not many people know I want to adopt a kid with AIDS. Handle it? I don’t know if I can. But I will. I've never told anyone about this until recently... But a kid with AIDS... hmmm, that requires me to be rich! To be able to afford treatment... but... It’s all so messy. Sigh. I want to go to sleep all cuddled up with someone. But it's too hot, and my sister is sprawled on one side of the bed. Good night, world. At least I’ll dream about it.

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